how

we built castles in the sky. why'd you hide the wrecking ball? how could you leave me here burning in the ashes of our dreams? how could you how could you how could you how could you how could you? i showed you my soul. why'd you break the door down when i gave you the key? you gave me gifts, you gave me hope, you gave me a hole in my heart. how could you how could you how could you how could you how could you? how could you take me from myself? how, how could you?

edge

i still wish i could wake up. i still feel like i'm living in a nightmare. i still have to tell myself this is real every time i breathe.

i am on the edge of sanity, but i don't know which side of the line i'm on. am i barely sane, or barely psychotic? or have i just totally gone over the edge and don't know it yet?

i wish you could understand.

you have no idea.

crash

the world is falling down around my ears. my thoughts and feelings are like a freight train, going 1000 miles an hour. when i fall asleep, its like a wheel jumped the track, and the engine has flipped. do you know what happens to 50 cars at 1000 miles an hour when the engine flips? screeching, crashing pile of cars. confusion. panic. my dreams are like that, everything crashing into each other, panicked. i wake up breathing hard, desperate. when will it stop?

ill

i wrapped up my wounds really well. i covered them and told myself they were going away. they were getting better. the scars i know will always be there, but i said the bleeding was lessening. i didn't look. i didn't want to see them again, to be proven wrong.

i saw you again. i smiled and nodded my head, and my heart cried again. i still love you when i'm awake.

today i'm sick. it was different last time. last time you brought me chicken noodle and popsicles. you sat and talked until i slept. but today there is no one to warm my soup or buy me popsicles. the can of campbell's was one from last time. i opened it up and microwaved my memories.