circus

heeheeheehaha... i couldn't have fucked up her mind better if i'd planned it. she is running in circles in her head. or spirals... never ending up in the same place twice, but never proceeding in any direction. she wants it all and can't give up any of it. its only a decision. the worst torture in the world to a mind such as hers. the world keeps dangling a carrot in front of her face, only to snatch it away as she almost has it. tempting lights, as stars, in front of her eyes, being snuffed out as she reaches. it is enough to make her mind numb with the frustration and giddy with the irony. and i sit idly by and grin a delicious smirk as i watch some of the best entertainment i've yet encountered. and even i don't have a clue what will happen next in this circus called her life.