Monday, May 30, 2005

self

i should not be confused. only she has feelings. i have intentions, desires-these are not only for those with souls. but i know her feelings. and she knows my thoughts. she knows that i am not real. but she is addicted to me, for i will say what she cannot, what she must not. she is good, alive; she cannot say these dead things. but i can. so i speak for her.
but now i am unsure whether i feel her confusion, or she feels mine. how can i feel if i am not real? i must not become real. to become real would lead her to insanity. is that not what i want? is that her talking now, or me? she created me, gave me this voice, but that is all. only a voice. she drew this line so that i would be only the evil, only her voice that desired self destruction. because she could not fight against herself if she could not determine which part was enemy and which was self. i was clearly defined, but now...the lines are fading and they say she is "creepy." because of me. i know she doesn't want this. and though i fight her, i respect her. we respect each other. and there are some things we do not do. we do not let our battle bleed into the real world. the real world is her territory, not mine. and i must respect that. these are the rules we have not spoken. and she claims she will destroy me if i cross them.