dying still

how is it that i can be not dead, but not alive? sometimes i wake up in time for the sunset. sometimes, if i stay up late, i get to see the sunrise. both are so beautiful, it hurts. sometimes, when i have dreams that won't finish themselves right, i go back to sleep to fix them. it is so frustrating when they won't right themselves. but even worse is when i wake and i can't fix them. the nightmares just get worse when i wake up. one would think that eventually they would have to end. i guess we all die someday.