beautiful

it seems i've never been happy in the fall. but i think it is the most beautiful time of year, just as it begins to cool off, at the end of summer. as the leaves begin to change, the air feels different, and it seems that something is coming to an end. it is a beautiful time, but somehow sad. maybe that is why it is beautiful. i have a theory that nothing is truly beautiful without being, in some sense, a little sad or mornful. i've never heard beautiful happy music, or seen a beautiful happy painting. some of them may be considered happy, but the really beautiful ones have an element of sadness to them. for some reason, i've always been depressed in the fall. i don't know if that is why it is beautiful, or contrary to the beauty around me. maybe someday i will have a happy fall, and then, whether or not it is beautiful, i'll know.